


How to get mixed up with an Alternate Timeline and still make it back for Dinner

by gwendee



Series: The Whole Alternate Timelines Mess [2]
Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universes, Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Light Angst, M/M, Ship Wars?, Starring The Weirdest Trio That Anyone Has Ever Put Together, The Author Regrets Nothing, Time Travel, VERY CANON DIVERGENCE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-05-19 07:35:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19352425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwendee/pseuds/gwendee
Summary: This isn't some Avengers: Civil War scenario, Itona thinks. There was no whole "the safest hands are still our own… or are they?" debate, because it's unanimously decided that the safest hands are no one's hands, no human should be meddling with the Universe's laws as it is, especially not anyone with any sort of influential power."Wait," says Itona loudly, and Gakushuu scowls at him mid-evil cackle. "How do we know this isn't going to cause some end-of-the-world scenario?""We don't," Gakushuu says, sounding increasingly irritated for each second he does not slam the hammer onto the time travel causing, reality warping device to smash it to bits.Or: The Gakushuu Asano, Itona Horibe, and Irina Jelavic team-up fic, continued





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome aboard to this trashy train bound towards crack and hilarity, tis I, your conductor; please keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times and should you feel any form of confusion throughout this journey, feel free to approach me and rant to your heart's content. Requires reading of the prequel to understand a single bit of this story (which is just as ridiculous, I assure you, but I'm far too deep in this hellhole now)

**2018**

This isn't some Avengers: Civil War scenario, Itona thinks, even as Gakushuu smarmly corrects " _ Captain America _ , Civil War" and Itona resists the urge to throw the stress ball in his hands right at Gakushuu's face. There was no whole "the safest hands are still our own… or are they?" debate, because it's unanimously decided that the safest hands are no one's hands, no human should be meddling with the Universe's laws as it is, especially not anyone with any sort of influential power.

"Wait," says Itona loudly, and Gakushuu scowls at him mid-evil cackle. "How do we know this isn't going to cause some end-of-the-world scenario?"

"We don't," Gakushuu says, sounding increasingly irritated for each second he does not slam the hammer onto the time travel causing, reality warping device to smash it to bits, or that could be just Gakushuu's default mood Itona doesn't really know, despite literally going through life and death with the guy.

"Last time we pulled a wire and it sent three of us hurtling through time," Itona reminds him, "now we're thinking of pulling way more wires than that. Who knows what consequences could arise from this?"

"The wire caused a power surge," Gakushuu says, "but the prerequisite to a power surge kickstarting a device would be, say, that the device is functional in the first place. If we smash it-"

"Itona's right," Irina says, crossing her arms, "we should slow down, go through the notes again. You're not usually this rash, Gakushuu, do you still have that concussion?"

"I do  _ not _ ," Gakushuu protests.

The hammer is taken away from him kicking and screaming, he's forcibly bind to a swivel chair, and they find that yes, indeed, he very much still does have that concussion. And consequently is so drugged up it was a wonder he was let out of the house at all, even if it was to take public transport three stops down to demand more attention than he was already receiving whilst waving a giant hammer at an electronics storefront.

"He probably wasn't," Itona points out.

Irina sighs wearily, the picture of a new parent. "I'll call Gakuhou."

By the time Asano Senior arrives, Gakushuu is already soundly asleep and has no conscious complaints about being bundled off home by his frazzled father, although Itona is sure he'll be receiving pissed off texts once Gakushuu comes to. But after that, Irina says, "I think Gakushuu has a point."

Yes, Itona thinks miserably, doesn't he always.

And much later even  _ after that _ , after Itona mollifies his new friend with over-the-top promises of lunch treats (which Itona is desperately trying not to refer to as  _ dates  _ in his head), they meet up again in the Asano residence and tries to ignore Gakuhou fretting over his only son's healing wounds, with the time travel device on the coffee table between them.

It seems like a constant between worlds, Gakuhou being endlessly overbearing. Gakuhuu is as disgruntled as he probably can be swaddled in blankets and looks 2 seconds away from spontaneously combusting from heat, embarrassment and rage; most likely all 3.

Gakuhou doesn't buy a single word of their time travel escapades the slightest bit. There's really no other reason believable enough to explain how Gakushuu left Kunugigaoka at 3.30pm on a school tuesday, walked 15 minutes to Itona's electronics repair shop, went in for 10 minutes, then came out drugged up on painkillers and high as a kite with multiple healing bullet wounds and lacerations. Gakuhou had let Gakushuu hug him for an uncomfortable amount of time, taken him to the hospital for a check-up and a standard drug test just to make sure he’s not tripping high on LSD or any other drugs, taken Gakushuu home and patted his hair until he babbled his way into a morphine-induced nap, and only  _ then  _ does he start cursing and accusing Irina of brainwashing, witchcraft or any related disciplines.

To which Irina had replied, ‘I’m flattered, Gakuhou, that you think of me capable of such a feat, but I have as much knowledge with time travel as does literally anyone else you pull from the street. You should ask Gakushuu about that.” And Itona dives for cover.

“So,” Irina starts, a shit-eating grin on her face, and Itona wonders how she had made it this far in life antagonizing powerful people, including but not limited to the best assassin in the world, a super creature capable of destruction of the Earth, and Asano Gakuhou. “Has your son dropped out of his delusions yet?”

“Time travel or reality warping isn’t real,” Gakuhou says loudly.

“It is,” Gakushuu says, or  _ whines _ . “You were all nice because I saved Ikeda from killing himself so you didn’t go psycho, and I yelled at you and you got all sad because you couldn’t believe that any version of you would treat me the way you did, then we saved Koro-sensei. I think I was dating both Itona and Karma.” Then he hiccups, and giggles.

Gakuhou glares at Itona. Itona, used to the muted glares of alternate-Gakuhou and woefully unprepared for the full force of a post-Ikeda Gakuhou glare, flinches and says, “we were  _ not _ dating,” then, “but you weren’t dating Karma, either.”

“Yeah we were,” Gakushuu insists, “I called you Itochan, and you called me Shuu.”

Irina is grinning so hard she could give the Joker a run for his money. Gakuhou is vibrating in what is most probably insurmountable, speechless anger. 

Quick, conflict diffusion. “You don’t want to date me,” Itona tries.

Drugged up-Gakushuu thinks hard. Sneezes. “Maybe,” he says sleepily.

Itona turns red. ‘What the fuck does maybe mean?”

“It means maybe,” Gakushuu says. Giggles again. “I love you, papa, even if you’re a meanie.”

Gakuhou sighs, as if Gakushuu had just handed him the world’s burdens on a platter. “You’re kind of cute when you’re intoxicated,” he mutters to his son and pats his hair in what can be called a strangely affectionate manner, and Itona thinks he understands their relationship even less. Satisfied, Gakushuu buries his face in his father’s shirt.

“This,” Itona says. He finds the notebook with Koro, Aguri and Gakuhou’s notes in in their attempt to decipher the inner workings of the time travel device, and hands it over. Gakuhou deliberated over it.

“This is my handwriting, and Aguri’s,” he says, frowning, “What the hell is this?”

“It’s supposed to talk about how this works,” Irina pats the top of the device like a dog’s head. ”By the way, what kind of painkillers are you giving him? I’ve never seen one that lasted this long.”

“It’s just morphine,” Gakuhou sighs. “Idiot ran into a wall and fell down the stairs again this morning so I took him back to the hospital.”

“I forgot there were stairs,” Gakushuu says incomprehensibly.

“There were definitely stairs in your alternate universe’s house,” Itona says, “I don’t know why he’s saying that. Anyways, you were one of the only people who figured out how this thing works, to an extent, so we were wondering if you would help us decide the best course of action to dispose of it.”

“Smash it,” Gakushuu says emphatically.

“I don’t have to know how this works to know that’s a bad idea,” Gakuhou says. “Why don’t you go up to your room and take a nap?”

“Nap,” Gakushuu agrees. He immediately passes out.

Gakuhou rubs the bridge of his nose. "Maybe we should discuss this later." 

"Right," Irina says, "we will see you, then." She cracks a grin at Gakushuu snuffling into Gakuhou's shirt, Itona shrugs and pushes the little notebook towards Gakuhou who takes it with a wary expression, and they take their leave.

"So," Irina says, "want to come see my baby?"

"Oh hell yeah," Itona says, "what's her name?"

"Mai," Irina beams so brightly Itona swears there are sparkles. Motherhood really did make her glow. They don't even make it to the busstop nearby when Irina's phone starts beeping bloody murder.

"Yes?" Irina says, and mouths "It's the Asano's" slowly, and Itona shrugs because he can't read lips.

"What?" Says Irina, "oh,  _ fuck _ ." Hangs up, says, "ready for another adventure, Itona?"

"Oh hell no," says Itona.

"Hell ye- wait, you're right, hell  _ fucking  _ no," says Irina.

"Hi," Gakuhou? greets the moment Irina and Itona step in again to the Asano residence, sounding far more amicable than the Gakuhou they so very know which is giving Itona the creeps, "Irina, Itona, it's so nice to see you again, well, sort of. The circumstances could be better."

"Tell me you have a way to fix this," Irina demands immediately. Wait, what?

"I barely know how this works," Gakuhou? insists, holding the stupid thingadong up, "where are the notes?"

"Is anyone going to tell me what's going on?" Itona says.

"A classic case of switcheroo," Irina says dramatically, "classic assassin trick, really, or well in this case, our beloved Gakuhou messed with that fuckatron and switched the places of himself and his kiddo with the duo from Koro-is-alive timeline we are so very intimately familiar with. Except, as it seems, they only switched, uh, minds, instead of physical selves."

"What," Itona says, "the fuck."

"That pretty much sums it up," Irina agrees.

“So,” Itona says, “let me get this straight (for the benefit of our readers who can’t follow Irina’s weird speech), the versions of Gakuhou and Gakushuu from that alternate universe we saved Koro-sensei in, switched places with our versions?”

“Yes,” Irina says. 

"Wait," Itona says, furrowing his brows, "then where's the alternate Gakushuu?"

Somewhere upstairs in the house there's a muffled thump, a yelp, and the very unmistakable series of sound of someone tumbling down the stairs. They whip around in time to see Gakushuu, or alternate-Gakushuu, roll off the last step and faceplant onto the carpet.

"I feel like my brain is mashed potato," alternate-Gakushuu says nonsensically, "I forgot there were stairs."

"He's on morphine," Itona explains, trying to hide a laugh just on principle, and also because he's about 98% sure that if he did laugh, alternate-Gakushuu would rat him out and actual-Gakushuu would slowly murder him. "We actually returned from your time 2 days ago. Well, the morphine was because apparently he tripped and fell down the stairs again this morning."

"I know what morphine feels like," alternate-Gakushuu gurgles, still face-down on the floor, "this isn't it. I think I can taste colours and smell shapes."

There's a long pause of mostly the befuddled and confused type, and then Irina finally says, "I guess that means Gakuhou believes us now."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder what trouble will find them now.

**2018?**

"Gakushuu Asano?"

"Hm?"

"Would you mind telling me just happened?"

Gakushuu, head still buried in the crook of Gakuhou's neck, cracks open one eye and squints accusingly. "What did you do?" 

"I pressed a button on this… device, that your… friends handed me. And there was a flash of light."

"Oh," Gakushuu closes an eye again. "That's what happened when we last time traveled." He yawns and snuffles into his father's collar, and Gakuhou gives him a full minute for his brain to kickstart the thinking process because he's well aware about his son half-asleep in the mornings. Asano Gakushuu, Asano Gakushuu that is consistently scoring top academically and competing against top minds in the nation, same Asano Gakushuu who poured orange juice instead of milk into his cereal and finished half the bowl before he realized something was off because Gakuhou had switched the containers to prove a hypothesis he had that his son didn't use his brain in the early mornings.

To his credit, Gakushuu takes 45 seconds to reboot. He starts and jumps up, says "wait, I don't hear colors anymore," ignores Gakuhou's "since when do you  _ hear colors? _ " and starts running around in circles.

"I have a theory," Gakushuu says after 5 minutes of… whatever he was doing, jumping up on the couch, "have you seen yourself in the mirror?"

Gakuhou is instantly suspicious. "Must I?" He goes to check anyways, and finds out that his hairstyle has changed, just a little bit. It's a subtle difference but much more reminiscent of how he had been in his old teaching days, which was very strange and creepy. Everything else seems to be in order. When he emerges from the bathroom, Gakushuu is visibly vibrating, now standing on the coffee table.

"-a whole 4 years?" He's saying loudly into his phone, "holy fucking shit."

Gakuhou pulls out his own phone. And does a double take because his background is very, very different. That was him, sure, and Gakushuu, who was grinning. Which in itself is a very red flag because his son has never smiled that widely in photos which is… a little sad if he thought about it. But was that… Itona Horibe next to them? And, Gakuhou has a stroke because was that Ikeda?

The doorbell rings. "Wow, they're here already," Gakushuu says, hopping off the table.

"Who?" Gakuhou demands.

Gakushuu ignores him. He throws open the door with a dramatic flair Gakuhou isn't sure who he inherited it from and lets someone in that Gakuhou can't see. 

"Introductions," Gakushuu says, leading the person around the corner and it's someone Gakuhou has never met before in his life, a European-looking man with dark hair and slanted eyes. "I'm, as the me of this time would say, mean-me. You may address me as Asano. That man," he gestures to a very bewildered Gakuhou, "you may address as Asshole." Gakushuu turns. "Mean-Dad, this is Koro."

"Hi, Asshole," says Koro, grinning.

"What," says Gakuhou.

Koro, or Koro-sensei sans supercreature, gives a brief rundown of "pretty much everything" that takes the better part of 3 hours and matches the accounts of the ludicrous time-traveling claims that delirious Gakushuu and the two heathens for friends he somehow made. The kid is now smugly sipping tea and pouring more cups as more and more familiar guests arrive. It's very strange, given that 3 of the people in this room are supposed to be dead.

Ikeda, whom gave Gakuhou a mini heart attack when he arrived, is now curled up on the couch and steadily avoiding eye contact. Gakuhou would be hurt except Gakushuu keeps shooting the poor kid (adult?) evil glares, and as a common recipient of said evil glares, it'd be a supernatural feat for a normal human to withstand the glare and so Gakuhou doesn't blame him. 

"So," alternate-Irina says, lounging on the loveseat uncannily in the same manner that Irina in his universe does, "where's the thathingadong?"

"Probably with other-us," Gakushuu says peacefully.

"Which means we can do nothing but wait," Aguri says, exactly like how he remembered her with her hands folded neatly on her lap, "that should be fine, Principal Asano has the notes and knows how the device works, somewhat. He should be able to calibrate it and fix this."

"We are really fortunate this happened today," alternate-Irina says, "imagine if this happened on a school day."

"I'm very uncomfortable with this," alternate-Akabane says loudly, "mean-Asano is giving me the creeps."

"Which one?" Gakushuu says, grinning like a shark. Alternate-Akabane wisely opts not to elaborate.

"I really wasn't going to point it out," alternate-Itona says as well, who'd started the day seated next to Gakushuu and had gradually migrated to the couch over to squeeze next to alternate-Akabane and Ikeda. 

How different was Gakushuu of this time? His son didn't quite seem to be acting out of character, humming to himself as he sharpens the kitchen knife on a whetstone in the living room. Perhaps their Gakushuu didn't like to relocate utensils or cutlery from the kitchen? Gakuhou was far too used to pulling spoons from in between cushions. 

"I'm going to cook dinner," Gakushuu says, "who wants food?"

Ikeda speaks up for the first time since he'd arrived. "Are you going to poison me?"

"Hm, no," says Gakushuu, "if I wanted you dead, you would be." 

"That's reassuring," Ikeda says softly. "Count me in." Then there's a chorus of agreements and somebody remarks that their Gakushuu wouldn't cook unless he was annoyed into it or felt like showing off, which is pretty accurate of Gakushuu.

"What are we eating?" Alternate-Akabane says.

"You all are going to eat what I damn make you," says Gakushuu, and disappears into the kitchen with the knife. 

"So," alternate-Akabane says, "alternate universe version of Gakushuu's father and our school principal, we haven't heard much from you. Everything we know about you has been told to us by Gakushuu. So rate your level of meanness on a scale of 1 to 10."

Gakuhou raises an eyebrow. "I beg your pardon?"

Alternate-Akabane slowly sinks back into his seat. "That's a 12," he says. 

Alternate-Itona winces. "An argument can be made for 15."

Gakuhou smoothens out his face. What exactly has Gakushuu told them about him? He's plenty sure that his son is eavesdropping but is curious enough to not interrupt them, so he leans forward and says, "What  _ did  _ Gakushuu say?"

There's a long pause as the kids exchange looks. Irina, Karasuma, Koro and Aguri choose to stay silent, and eventually alternate-Itona says, "he didn't say a lot." 

"He got into an argument with, other you," alternate-Itona makes an aborted hand gesture. "It was, well-"

"We don't know what they said," Ikeda interrupts.

"But other-you, our you, kind of," alternate-Itona shrugs and mimes crying, and then gets elbowed by Ikeda.  

Hm. That sounded like Gakushuu. Gakuhou had no doubt that boy harbored far too much resentment for his parenting to keep mum when given such an opportunity, and it seems that the differences between their times were far greater than he expected, when alternate-Itona brought up that Kunugigaoka had no ranking system and Akabane, one of the most arrogant and competitive people he knows, seems appalled at the mere suggestion of one.

"What else?" Gakuhou asks.

"He tried to cut Ikeda's fingers off," Akabane blurts.

"It was a joke," Ikeda says, sounding very unconvinced.

Gakuhou is sure it wasn't. "Asano!" He yells.

"What do you want,  _ principal _ ?!" His son snarks back. There's the scratchy sound of a knife being dragged against a board and a large slam, and Gakushuu emerges from the kitchen scowling.

"What have I told you about causing permanent bodily harm," Gakuhou scolds.

Gakushuu gives him a look that can be read as either "do you take me for an idiot" or "are  _ you  _ an idiot?" and he says, with a one shoulder-ed shrug and a raised eyebrow, "to _not_ do that?" 

Gakuhou frowns at him, eyebrow twitching. His son was so insufferable. "Don't be smart with me."

"So sorry,  _ principal,"   _ Gakushuu sneers, "hey,  _ big brother? _ "

And it's only then Gakuhou realizes the room is watching them with a tense silence, and Ikeda actually jumps and yelps. "Y-yes?"

But Gakushuu only smiles at him, twirls the knife around, and disappears.

There's a longer silence, and finally,  _ finally _ , alternate-Karasuma says, "20."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! What does everyone think so far? I'm curious, where did you guys think the sequel would go? I hear that this development is quite... unexpected, I'm curious about your theories/suggestions. HAHA


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, we join Irina and Itona back in the main universe as I drag this fic out unnecessarily for... reasons.

**2018: Day 1**

After knocking over his second vase, alternate-Gakushuu is given three sleeping pills and delegated to the couch. He has no complaints, and is currently out like a light. Irina is twisting braids into his fringe.

"So you and Karasuma," Alternate-Gakuhou says, eyes lit up.

"What, nothing happening on your side?" Irina says.

"Oh, things  _ are _ happening," alternate-Gakuhou thinks, "rather slowly, although I would say you're a lot more… forward, in your advances than he is. Definitely not to the marriage stage yet."

Itoma walks over with a disgruntled look on his face. "I just got off the phone with Akari," he says, "she was pretty out of it for about a week after Koro-sensei brought her back to life, but she didn't really do much. Just lay in bed and ate a lot to get that energy back."

Irina hums. "Should we feed him?"

On her lap, alternate-Gakushuu mumbles a little in his sleep, and rolls over. Irina removes a hair clip. 

"Maybe when he wakes," alternate-Gakuhou says. "I'm at a loss with your time travel device, and the two people I worked with are dead. Who did you say you got this from?" 

"You won't know him," Irina waves her hand. "I can take you to his gravestone, if you like."

"No thanks," Gakuhou makes a face, which is super odd considering Itona hasn't seen any expressions on this principal apart from mild displeasure and disdain, and anger. He wonders how the Gakushuu and Gakuhou in the other timeline are doing. "Any scientist researching in the field of, uh, time or universal travel?"

"Not that I know of," Itona says.

"I could ask Tadaomi," Irina says, "he probably knows people like that."

"Did you tell him about time travel yet?" Itona asks.

"Fuck no," Irina snorts. "He'll think I'm  _ insane _ . And remember the part about illegally keeping the time travel device and not surrendering it to the government? But I suppose sacrifices have to be made, and bringing those 2 losers back is more important than me having a dry spell for a bit."

Itona wrinkles his nose. "Gross." 

Karasuma, predictably, is pissed. Rants and raves over the phone on speaker, rants and raves in real life, sits down heavily and sighs and hands the baby to Irina so he could use his hands to gesture dramatically to aid in his ranting and raving.

"Honey," says Irina. Karasuma glares at her.

"To be fair," Itona interjects, "would you want to hand a time travel device over to any government?"

Karasuma steps outside. 

Steps back in, rubs his temples, then says, "fine, what do you need?"

"You know," alternate-Gakuhou says later, "you're one of the most consistent people over the timelines."

"We're not married in their universe," Irina says.

"I don't think I'd have married you if I didn't have to work with you for an entire year against my will," Karasuma tells Irina rather unconvincingly. Mai, whose been passed around from alternate-Gakushuu to Itona, gurgles and reminds her father about what a shitty liar he is.

"Tsundere," Itona mutters lowly to Irina, who bursts into undignified giggles.

"There are no scientists researching on  _ time travel,"  _ Karasuma says, glaring at Itona which tells him that he heard that comment. "Because that's a ridiculous notion. But that assassin you got this device from…?"

"Dead," Irina wrinkles her nose. "Sucks."

"We need a scientist," Alternate-Gakuhou says, "as much as I'd hate to admit it, I can't work on this alone. We need a genius, preferably someone in the mad scientist category."

There's a long pause. Itona knows exactly 1 person alive that fits the bill. The look Irina is giving him says they have the same person in mind. How unfortunate.  

"So," Itona says, "how's Shiro doing?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OvO 
> 
> In the canon universe, Shiro isn't dead. Apparently he just got disfigured and then super mopey. I brought it up in the previous fic that Shiro wasn't prosecuted for his unethical research because it was fully approved by the government so yes, here too he is a free man (just a super mopey one) and I don't like Yanagisawa but he's going to briefly appear and that's just it. He's not going to get a redemption arc or anything I just need a reason to bring Akari into this fic (sorry ahem)


	4. 2018?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We revisit the alternate timeline for more shenanigans. Presenting to you the children of the alternate timeline and Kunugigaoka High! *drumroll*

**2018A:** **Day 2**

"You don't get to go to school until you learn to play nice," Gakushuu sings, "I'll tell the board you have a bad case of the sniffles. Don't feel too lonely without me, papa."

Gakuhou scowls at him. Gakushuu beams back.

"If you ruin Gakushuu's reputation," alternate-Karma warns, then pauses because either he's not sure what constitutes as a threat, or whether he has any bargaining power. 

"I'm a phenomenal actor," Gakushuu sniffs, "my forte is playing nice. Isn't that right, papa?"

"Will you stop calling me that?" Gakuhou snaps. 

They couldn't do anything on their end but unfortunately life isn't quite put on pause for their convenience, which means Gakushuu was now his alternate-counterpart and Gakuhou was his. Gakuhou, with everyone’s unanimous agreement, had decided to work from home for the time being; Gakushuu, with unanimous disagreement, decided that being cooped up at “home” was boring and the kids were still too terrified to stop him.  

"I'm not too convinced it's going to work," alternate-Itona says, rubbing his arm, "you're too… unlike him." 

Gakushuu cocks his head. "What's he like?"

"Nice," alternate-Karma immediately says, then gets elbowed.

On the way to school, alternate-Karma and alternate-Itona fill Gakushuu in on the behavior of their version of Gakushuu, which Gakushuu would have to say isn't too different from what he normally does. Student council work, pretending to like people, et cetera. 

"Who's in our class?" Gakushuu asks curiously.

"Oh yeah, it's ranked in your time," alternate-Karma makes a face, after Itona departs and heads down a separate hallway to class 3-C, and dutifully reminds him yet again that it's not ranked according to academic ability and that Gakushuu shouldn't mention it at all. Coincidentally enough he and alternate-Karma are still in 3-A, but Gakushuu doesn't expect his usual camaraderie of students, and barely manages to avoid flinching when he steps into class and immediately gets hit in the face by a basketball.

"Oh my god, Asano, I'm so sorry!" The voice was vaguely familiar but Gakushuu couldn't quite place it, and a girl with short brown hair runs up to him with an apologetic expression. It was someone from his middle school that didn't end up making it into Kunugigaoka High. Next to him, alternate-Karma is giving him a horrified expression.

"It's alright," Gakushuu says, smiling at her, "my reflexes must be getting slow lately, I didn't even try to catch it."

That must be in character because the girl laughs, and Gakushuu lobs the ball back to her. When he turns back to stare at alternate-Karma, he's giving him a slightly strained smile. 

The day passes rather uneventfully. Like Gakushuu said, he's great at keeping up appearances and nobody looks suspicious or asks him if he was sick. The only time he slipped up was when alternate-Karma called him "Shuu-ey" and Gakushuu's reflex had been to punch him in the face.

During lunch, alternate-Itona approaches their table and scrunches up his nose. "Why do you have a black eye?" 

"I dunno," alternate-Karma says.

"Kay," alternate-Itona says. "How was your day?"

"Boring," Gakushuu sighs. "Nothing too different from a regular day in my own school."

"He's nailing it," alternate-Karma translates sourly, "you know, other than this." He gestures weakly to his face, and pouts.

"You caught me off guard," Gakushuu mutters, feeling just a smidge of guilt but refusing to dwell on it. He would have punched his Karma unapologetically and his Karma would have dodged it and punched back, this was a cultural mis-exchange and he was ignorant of this land’s customs and practices, but not by choice.. "By the way, I  _ am  _ curious, am I dating anyone?"

Both alternate versions of Karma and Itona fall silent, and glare at each other.

"No?" Gakushuu is almost disappointed. This is like waiting 4 whole years for the sequel of a book only to find that there had been no plot development. To be fair, it had been 2 days in his time, but he'd been hoping for, well, something, at the very least. He’s already hooked. 

"Not… no," alternate-Itona sulks. "Like…" He makes aborted hand gestures and shrugs helplessly.

Gakushuu waits.

Alternate-Itona deflates. "It's a no."

"One day," alternate-Karma starts, but then falls silent.

"Both of you are useless," Gakushuu informs them. 

“Harsh,” alternate-Karma mutters, crossing his arms and sinking back into his seat, and alternate-Itona bristles in a manner similar to the Itona Gakushuu is familiar with. How pathetic, and a little endearing. 

“Idiots,” Gakushuu snickers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are back in the main universe and I can't resist bringing my dear Kayano Kaede in.

**2018: Day 1**

Akari, who'd spent the hour listening slack-jawed with obvious confusion, goes through all five stages of grief in a second, then buries her head in her hands and  _ cries. _ Alternate-Gakuhou freaks out.

Akari's head snaps up, suspiciously free of sadness and tears. "Stop that," she says sharply. Alternate-Gakuhou falls silent, and Itona sits to attention. He’d never been close to Akari but his version was starkly different from the alternate version of Akari that he ironically spent more time with. All of them were, he muses, lack of trauma did a lot to a person.

Akari says, very begrudgingly, that she buys their story, "the ridiculous time-travel escapade so horrifying that it won't ever be made into a script," only because a nice Gakuhou was, quote, a figment of her horrific nightmares that wouldn't exist in the normal plane otherwise. 

"Who  _ am I _ ?" Alternate-Gakuhou had muttered.

"Yeah, just keep him still," Akari says, patting alternate-Gakushuu's hair as he laid on her lap and stared up at her with something akin to either question marks or stars in his eyes, "and feed him a lot. High calorie intake. I was out of it for a while after Koro-sensei revived me. Coming back from the dead does things to your mind."

" _ You're so pretty _ ," alternate-Gakushuu gasps, trying and failing to pat Akari's hair. He's woken up too soon because his increased metabolism, attributed to his recovery and Koro's stem cells, burnt through the sleeping pills far too fast.

"Thank you," Akari says. She looks pleased. "Could you say that again for the cameras?"

Itona frowns. "He's not our Gakushuu."

"Yeah, but it's still as satisfying to hear," Akari says, "hey, Asano. Can I call you Gakushuu?"

"You can call me anything you want," alternate-Gakushuu says. Makes a happy noise when Akari drags her fingers through his hair.

"Hm," says Alternate-Gakuhou. 

"Can we please focus?" Itona snaps, irritated.

"I do keep tabs on Shiro, although I haven't seen him in a year. He was my brother-in-law, after all," Akari says, "he won't want to meet any of you, though."

"Are we seriously asking  _ Shiro  _ for help?" Irina says, "I'm not too thrilled on the prospect of giving that guy any access to  _ time travel _ ."

"Even not him, he probably has a lot of contacts in related fields," Akari points out. "He's… burnt out. He hasn't done any serious work in  _ years _ . I doubt he'll want to even go into this, let alone put in enough effort to double cross us."

"I'm going to try to look into anyone that might have given this device to that buddy of mine," Irina says, "as far as I know he didn't do any deals with scientists or the like. Stay away from things he doesn't understand even if he's just the messenger, or so he says."

Akari is right. Shiro lives alone in one wing of her family's bungalow; he'd been ostracized by the scientific community and his own family and Akari kind of felt bad for him. Even if he did treat his sister like trash, his money had brought back her family's business from bankruptcy, "which is why we have this bungalow," says Akari, "that, and the Koro-sensei money." 

"You said you haven't spoken to him in a year," Itona says, "but you live in the same house?" 

"I'm always on the move filming," Akari says, "you're lucky you caught me in between movies or I might have been halfway across the world. And it's not like I deliberately seek him out to chat when I'm home," which, fair enough, really. They walk silently down the hallways. Irina was too curious not to tag along, and alternate-Gakuhou had decided to stay behind to feed his son sweets. Alternate-Gakushuu very vocally expressed displeasure at having Akari leave his sight but was then mollified by a cupcake which, Itona isn't sure how he feels about that. At least it's not his Gakushuu?

True to her prediction, Shiro takes one glance at the group standing outside his door and slams it shut.

"Open up, fucker!" Irina slams the door with a fist.

"It's okay, I got this," says Akari. She takes a deep breath, takes a step back, then kicks the door down. Shiro stares at the open doorway with a baleful look and trudges back to his desk. "Hello Akari," he says miserably, "it's nice to see you again. You're looking more and more like Aguri every… year."

Akari scowls. "Cut the crap, Kotarou. You look like shit."

"Shiro," Itona says, stepping forward.

"Itona," Shiro blinks at him, "it's… nice to see you too. Are you doing well?"

Itona feels awkward. This man did raise him for 5 years after all, even if he had been pretty shit at it. He has cracked scars running along the sides of his arms and around the edges of his face, and sunken eyes that was so familiar yet foreign. Moving from the centre of the room to one corner of it his gait trembled. Burnt-out was an apt description.  

"I'm fine," Itona says, shifting his weight from one foot to another, "we actually need your... help."

"Sorry, no," says Shiro. 

"Stop wallowing in your own self pity," Akari scoffs. 

"At least listen to what I have to say," Itona tries.

Shiro blinks at him tiredly, then motions to a stool in the corner of the room. Akari rolls her eyes and kicks it over. Itona gingerly takes a seat, and folds his hands over his lap. "The thing is," he says, "we need your help in fixing a machine of ours. Do you remember the principal of Kunugigaoka and his son?"

"I do," Shiro says, "they came to Aguri's funeral."

They did? Gakushuu never mentioned it, although it doesn't seem like something he would deem worth bringing up. 

"Oh, well, they're in trouble now. I know this sounds ridiculous but hear us out. We have this… time universe reality altering machine, except we don't know how it works. The Asanos have been, let's say, switched with themselves from an alternate reality and we don't know how to get them back."

Shiro blinks. "What game are you playing?"

"This isn't a game," Itona says, "Irina, Gakushuu and I travelled back in time 20 years, and we somehow managed to go forward 4 years each way until we came back to our own time. But doing so altered the timeline so we made a different alternate universe where… let's just say things changed a lot."

Shiro pauses for a while. "Do you have… that device with you?" He looks mildly curious, at the very least, which is a good start in the right direction.

"It's at the Asanos," Itona says, "are you coming with?"

"You know," Shiro says, "you've grown up quite a lot these years without me but I still know all your tells when you're lying-"

"-excuse me?!"

"-but that just tells me that you're telling the truth," Shiro pauses, "or you think you are telling the truth, so if I don't see a time travel device I'd get a memory altering one, which is interesting enough."

Itona, face slightly red, crosses his arms. "It's not a memory alteration device," he says, as Akari and Irina giggle behind him.

"Of course," Shiro says, smiling a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon that Akari and Gakushuu become BFFs in the future. Akari brings him to all the red-carpet events she has to go to because he 1. is hot, 2. is a big name and 3. can be trusted to behave himself, whereas Nagisa and Karma only fulfill 2 out of 3.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news everybody, the previous chapter should be the last you read of Shiro for a long, long time (save for mentions of his name). I don't like Shiro myself and I brought him in into the chapter because... it felt right? And I was dying laughing at the comments which were all "I don't like Shiro and the way you write him? I can't deal" which, same.

**2018A: Day 2**

"How was work?" Gakushuu says conversationally, stretching out on the couch. It was so strange to see this house as nearly identical to his own, and Gakuhou wasn't… used to it. Stranger still that Gakushuu seemed completely at ease with their predicament, although Gakuhou supposes that he’d barely departed from this strange reflection of their home for, how long had it been, 2 days? 

"Figured it out rather quickly," Gakuhou says, he'd spent the most day pouring through reports and figuring out the ins and outs of this new Kunugiagoka. "How was school?"

"Had to pretend to like people," Gakushuu fake-yawns, "so same old, really."

Gakuhou frowns at him. "So we're stuck here until… other me figures out a way to fix that device."

"Yep," Gakushuu says, "he'll handle it. Take this as a vacation."

Gakuhou looks at his son, thinking. "Tell me about your trip."

Gakushuu inclines his head. "Didn't Irina and Itona tell you about it already while I was out of it?"

"I want to hear it from you," Gakuhou says.

"Hm," Gakushuu says, but he looks oddly pleased. He tucks his legs under him and curls up at a corner of the couch across Gakuhou, something which would seem very casual to anyone else used to his son’s formal veneer. He’s still on guard, and rather selfishly Gakuhou is glad that his son is uncomfortable with this situation.

Gakushuu holds up a finger. “England, 1998. A wire was pulled from the time travel device. There was a short circuit, and a burnt resistor, which we replaced. Outfitted it with solar panels to charge, took about an hour each time, sent us forward 4 years into the future, in the same alternate universe which we would find out only later."

"2002?" 

Gakushuu wags his finger. "An assassination took place not far from us. A man and a boy, who Irina identified as Koro-sensei back when he had still been an human assassin with the alias known as Reaper, and his apprentice."

Gakushuu puts up another finger. "Serbia, 2002. The aftermath of an ethnic war, in a deserted village. We run into Irina's younger self aged 8. Itona sits and converses with her for while."

"I didn't know Horibe knew Serbian," Gakuhou says.

Gakushuu cracks a little amused smile. "He didn't. Hypothesis that our actions in the past did not affect our future, not proven as this singular event of meeting Itona for an hour was deemed too small to affect the course of Irina's future."

Third finger. "Japan, 2006. August 22."

Gakuhou's eyes widen. "Gakushuu?" He knows what date it is, in their time it would have been the day Ikeda killed himself.

Gakushuu's eyes flicker to something in Gakuhou's periphery. It's a basketball. Gakushuu smiles, just barely. 

"Hypothesis that actions did not affect our future, proven." He doesn't elaborate, immediately raises a fourth finger. "Canada, 2010. Based off our previous hypothesis, we made a decision to extract Itona from Shiro's possession. Context?"

Gakuhou nods.

"Horibe Electronic's bankruptcy," Gakushuu says, "Itona put in his uncle's care, got left in the streets, conveniently accordant to our recurring theme of tragic backstories." He sounds amused. "Subsequently picked up and used as a human test subject by Yanagisawa, alias Shiro, head scientist behind Koro-sensei's tentacles, Aguri Yukimura's fiance."

Gakuhou nods again.

"Step one was to locate Yanagisawa's laboratory. Irina investigated Koro-sensei and his apprentice as they were affiliated, it proved to be inconclusive. I investigated Kunugigaoka for Aguri's personal records but you had yet to hire her. Second hypothesis raised, alternate timeline theory, that the times we travelled to were part of the same universe that didn't affect us."

"Context?" Gakuhou asks.

Gakushuu grins ruefully. "Ran into myself, and Maki. Maki!"

There's silence for a brief moment, then the "clack clack" of nails clicking on the floor, and then a dog emerges and hops on the couch next to Gakushuu.

"Unanticipated obstacle," Gakushuu says fondly, patting the dog. Maki adored his son but hated Gakuhou with a passion. He wonders if it was true of the alternate timeline? 

"Ikeda and little me are… acquainted, and Ikeda had apparently divulged details of 2006 to the child, and he was annoyingly persistent."

Gakuhou laughs. 

"Rescued Itona. Infiltrated the laboratory under alias of an unethical businessman Tanaka, kept up a distraction while Itona and Irina kidnapped the brat. Put him into the Asano's care with Ikeda as the middleman."

Gakuhou's lips curl. "You threatened him."

Gakushuu bares his teeth in a grin. "Negotiated," he sings, then raises five fingers. "Miraculously coincidentally, Japan again, 2014. Both hypotheses proven. Another obstacle, without the elitist dictatorship of Kunugigaoka as it is in our time, there is no guarantee that 3-E would be able to prevent the end of the world."

Gakuhou winces.

“Priority was to terminate Shiro’s research before Koro-sensei turned into a living bomb, but his work was approved by the government so the only way was to get rid of his test subjects. We got the alternate versions of both of us, Itona, Akari and Karma on board, and we infiltrated Shiro’s laboratory again to rescue Koro-sensei. Itona and I run into current assassin Reaper, previously Koro-sensei’s apprentice. Simultaneously, Irina runs into trouble. Itona finds Irina.”

“He left you alone?” Gakuhou frowns.

“Yes,” Gakushuu says, blinking slowly. “At my orders. Irina runs into alternate-Irina and gets stabbed. Hypothesis, consistent alternate timeline theory proven, alternate Irina recognizes Itona and defects to our side. Alternate-you locates Koro-sensei. Irina is wounded and leaves the scene with Alternate-Irina, Itona heads over to where you and Koro-sensei are supposed to be.”

“What about you?” Gakuhou says.

Gakushuu stares sharply, but then his look smoothes out. “Reaper has accusations of us being time travellers, he recognized us from 1998. I deny his accusations. He is... “ Gakushuu absently scratches a part of his arm, and looks over to the side.

Gakuhou furrows his brows. “Gakushuu?”

Gakushuu’s hands tightens around his sleeve. “He is an assassin,” Gakushuu settles on saying. 

Gakuhou doesn’t say anything. He watches his child curl up on the couch, waits for him to compose himself as he takes shaky breaths. Gakuhou almost misses morphine-drunk Gakushuu now, who would unabashedly cuddle up to him and demand affection like a 10 year old would. The phone of his alternate self sits heavily on the coffee table.

“Somehow,” Gakushuu continues, “Irina and her alternate-self come up with a plan to distract Reaper. They lure him out with a phone call, he brings me along and leaves me with Irina, both of us are immobile. I-”

Gakushuu stops short again, and looks down at his hands, and the smallest of sobs escape him. Immediately Gakuhou is on his feet. 

“I could have died,” Gakushuu whispers aloud, like it’s his first realization of his mortality. Probably not far from the truth, with what inebriated state he had previously been in, and three days in he’s now seriously deliberating the situation and what a close call with death he had-

Gakuhou doesn’t want to think about Gakushuu dying. He doesn’t want to think about it at all, or hear his son describe it. He pulls Gakushuu onto his lap and the kid protests with a soft “oomph” but then goes boneless in his arms. 

There’s a soft click of the door as it opens and Ikeda steps in, surveying the scene with a fond look in his eyes. There’s so much Gakuhou would like to say to him, so much he wants to before he leaves. For now, he just holds Gakushuu tighter. Ikeda smiles at him.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As it should be fairly easy to tell by now this fic is pretty Asanos-centric (because I love them) and if (if) there is another installment on this fic I would want to explore Irina's whole psyche and relationship with her family as Itona gay-panics in the background. 
> 
> You know. If. Hypothetically.
> 
> But that said it prolly won't happen until I finish this fic and jump through several more Karushuu ones (because I was re-reading one of the old fics I super duper liked and I thought about Vampire Karma and now there are alarm bells going off in my head, do you feel me?!)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gwen, vibrating with caffeine: MORE CHARACTERS

**2018: Day 2**

Itona gets triple texted at school. He gets odd looks from his classmates because he is by no means a popular person and nobody texts him on the regular, so his phone buzzing incessantly at the edge of his table raises eyebrows. Itona would ignore it but it's from Gakuhou, whom Itona had given explicit instructions to not bother him at school for anything short of the fate of the universe.

Itona ducks into a quiet stairwell at the first opportunity and calls him back. "What?!"

"You kids are so scary," alternate-Gakuhou mutters. "I have a problem. This universe's version of Karma Akabane dropped by unannounced and he knows what happened."

"Why did you let him in?" Itona demands.

Alternate-Gakuhou remains suspiciously silent. Itona signs and drags a hand across his face. Karma was no doubt sharp enough to pick up that something was amiss, and Itona may not have been close with him but he knows that Karma defended his friends with a ferocity unlike any other, and a drugged up Gakushuu with a weird acting Gakuhou? 

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"Yes," alternate-Gakuhou lies. "When are you getting off school?"

"Now, apparently," Itona mutters. Math was the one subject he could afford to skip. He ignores alternate-Gakuhou's "are you cutting class?!" and cuts class, and makes to the Asano estate. Knocks on the door twice and is greeted by a very exasperated looking Gakuhou with his hair undone. Walks in and sees one very pissed Karma Akabane, and curled up next to him is an oddly docile Gakushuu Asano, who perks up the moment he sees Itoma and says, "Ito-chan?!"

Karma's gaze snaps to him. Itona feels a foot in the coffin. "Hi, Gakushuu," he sighs, "how are you feeling?"

"Like absolute shit," alternate-Gakushuu says brightly. 

"You're looking better,” Itona jokes. “How many fingers am I holding up?" 

"Three," Alternate-Gakushuu says dutifully, even though sees well enough. Akari’s predictions have been right, and stuffing him with food had done wonders for his recovery. He still struggles a little with depth perception and hence has persisting problems with the stairs, but is otherwise a normal and functioning Gakushuu that trips more often than not.

For alternate-Gakushuu’s standards, that is. In their universe, Gakushuu was a spiteful mean thing that was the furthest from the boy here now and alternate-Gakushuu would fail miserably at passing for him, hence their decision to take a leave of absence from school.

They should have probably considered Karma’s existence and his inability to leave anything alone. Itona knew that. Itona  _ knew  _ that.  

"Itona," Karma says, voice dangerous, "what is going on?"

"Well," says Itona, and then alternate-Gakuhou is shoving a scalding hot cup of tea into his hands and forcing him down onto the couch because this Karma is all razor sharp teeth and top tier actual assassin material, he'd suicided to make an attempt on Koro-sensei's life and somehow became friends with Gakushuu Asano, and now said Gakushuu Asano was in a very worrisome predicament that would only look evermore worse from an outsider's point of view.

Itona was an equally terrifying opponent in his own right, he was never afraid of Karma and he certainly wouldn't be now. He stares Karma down and doesn't make a face at the absolute bitterness of the stupid leaf water that alternate-Gakushuu was only allowed to drink from out of a sippy cup. 

"So," Karma says, sickly sweet, "nice to see you again, Itona, how have you been? Didn't know you and  _ Gakushuu _ were friends." Curled his tongue around Gakushuu's name like he was the only one who had any right to say it, tone challenging, metaphorical tail lashing like a tiger. Itona feels something bitter and heavy unfurl at his belly.

"Shuu?" Itona says, as alternate-Gakuhou looked between them frantically with an expression not unlike terror. Alternate-Gakushuu gets up and Karma's arm immediately darts out to pin him back to his seat. 

Alternate-Gakushuu looks a little mournful.Small blessings, Itona thinks.

“We  _ are  _ friends,” Itona says, keeping his expression carefully blank. “Would you like to know why?”

They've grown a lot, Itona has to acknowledge, all of them have matured so much after their impactful last year of middle school, but Itona was still as stubborn as he had been 3 years ago and he didn't expect Karma to be any less hot headed, so he fully expects the outburst thrown his way. 

"-absolutely preposterous," Karma hisses, "you expect me to believe-" 

"I know it sounds ridiculous-"

"Stop it!" Alternate-Gakushuu snaps. Both Itona and Karma fall silent. "I hate it when both of you fight!"

Karma stays quiet for a moment longer, then sighs. "I believe you."

"I wouldn't lie to you," Itona says.

"Don't think you could if you tried," Karma says, "I know all your tells."

Itona bristles like a wet cat. "Sorry?"

"Besides," Karma continues, unperturbed at the death glare Itona is boring into him. "This version of Gakushuu is too childish and whiny to be the real thing."

"I'm not whiny!" Alternate-Gakushuu whines.

Itona agrees. He's not going to say so out loud, though, he still wants to live. 

"I'll keep your secret," Karma says, "but I expect to be updated the moment anythings happens, and I will be present when you pull the switch." His eyes are calculating and mean, and they soften for just a fraction as he looks over at Gakushuu cuddled under his arm. 

Alternate-Gakuhou’s gaze flicks between both of them rapidly and he grips his cup in silent anticipation. Itona glares at him.

“I thought you said you believed me,” Itona says.

“Oh, I do,” Karma agrees, “I just don’t trust you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is little-to-no action in this fic. This is a rom-com. I'm sorry if you were expecting something else.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again!

**2018A: Day 3**

“I’m sorry.”

Ikeda looks up, hands clasped together on his lap. “Sensei…”

“Weird, hearing it from me,” Gakuhou says, “but I never told you in my time, and I wanted you to know.”

“I,” Ikeda looks away, pauses, “you don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

Gakuhou gulps. “I was a-”

“I’m serious,” Ikeda interrupts, “you don’t have anything to be sorry for. You are, were, a wonderful sensei and I love you, and... “ He glances down at his hands again, then back at Gakuhou’s face. “I didn’t want to die, you know. I was desperate, I thought I was out of options, I didn’t want to find you because I thought you’d be disappointed at who I had become. I jumped, but when I hit the water I realized that I didn’t want to die.”

Gakuhou doesn’t say anything.

Then Ikeda smiles a little fondly, eyes crinkling, “then your son saved me. I thought I was in shock, he looked… so much like you, I didn’t know what to think. He yelled at me for being an idiot and left me at the riverbank and I thought god came down to me, in your image, to tell me to figure my shit out, except that I didn’t think you’d ever swear that much.”

Despite himself, Gakuhou cracks a grin. “Sounds like Gakushuu.”

“He’s a great kid,” Ikeda says. “Scares the hell out of me, if I’m honest.”

Gakuhou winces, a little. “That’s my doing.”

“Yeah,” Ikeda says, voice soft. “He said you, ah, went psycho, after I died in your time.”

Gakuhou is silent for a long moment. Then he says, “he was right. I was, well, your death made me reconsider my teaching policies. I wanted to make my students strong, now, ready to face the world’s adversaries, I... changed my education ideologies.”

“You certainly succeeded with Gakushuu,” Ikeda says, “I don’t think anyone sane would mess with him.”

Gakuhou’s lips quirk up. “Perhaps.”

“He’s very brave, you know,” Ikeda says, “did he tell you what happened, with Reaper?”

“No. What I know is they got into the labs, split up, and Gakushuu stood against that assassin alone.” 

“He and Itona ran into Reaper, first,” says Ikeda, “They, well, I’m hearing this story only second-hand and Gakushuu himself didn’t tell us much of what happened, but Gakushuu made Itona leave first to find Irina- well, okay, several things were happening at that time, let me break it down. Our versions of Gakushuu and Itona, the 14 year olds, were in the security rooms. Our Karma and Akari were supposed to distract Shiro, so the kids were out of the crossfire, they didn’t go into the labs to find Koro.” 

Gakuhou nods.

“Our version of you went down one way, Irina the other, Gakushuu and Itona the last. Irina met her past self and they got into a fight, which ended up with your version of Irina getting stabbed, but apparently Itona arrived and intervened quickly enough.This is where they split up again. Our version of you found Koro but he was apparently uncooperative, and you know how he and Aguri and Akari are related-”

“I do,” Gakuhou says.

“Good, well, Irona and the, ah, Irinas split up. Itona went to get Akari to find Koro in hopes that she could convince him to come to our side, the Irinas are supposed to leave, but they run into Karma, oh, well Karma had been with Akari, right, to distract Shiro? Itona knocked Shiro out, took Akari with him, and Karma kind of dragged him around for a bit, but anyways the Irinas run into Karma, and Karma goes off into the labs. Yea, bad idea, I know, but they couldn’t exactly stop him then, you know Karma. Well, the Irinas get a plan, you see, to save Gakushuu if he was still alive.”

“If?” Gakuhou says.

Ikeda winces. “Yeah, our Irina didn’t think Gakushuu would have lasted that long, but good thing he, uh, did? They lured Reaper out and he had brought Gakushuu with him, and Reaper apparently left Gakushuu with your injured Irina because he was pretty sure they wouldn’t be able to go anywhere given that both of them were, you know, stabbed and bleeding out, and he started chasing our Irina to, uh, kill her for her betrayal.”

Ikeda makes a face. “At this point in time, they’ve managed to convince Koro to, uh, not kill them? Because he was an assassin too, after all, and he thought that we were Shiro’s allies, but… I guess Akari managed to turn him around. Koro apparently has the tentacles from Shiro’s research, not the full whole… yellow octopus thing, just a few tentacles, and he takes care of Reaper. Our Irina leads him to where your Irina and Gakushuu is, and well…”

“Well?” Gakuhou demands, when Ikeda’s been quiet for too long.

“I didn’t hear much about this part,” says Ikeda, “he was apparently unconscious, and bleeding a lot. Koro apparently healed Gakushuu with, ah, stem cells or something like that, again, I'm not too sure on the specifics. According to Koro, uh, he was shot and stabbed a couple of times. More than a couple of times. He didn't tell us the exact number because he said, well, anyways he's fine now, he was very brave, really. If he hadn't-"

"I don't care about  _ that _ ," Gakuhou says harshly, "he shouldn't have been in that situation at all. Neither of them should have been. Are you saying that I willingly went along with it?"

"Uh, kinda, yeah," Ikeda shrugs helplessly, "to be fair you weren't given much and a choice-"

"I know what my son is like and trust me when I say that your version of me is more than capable enough of handling him," Gakuhou tells Ikeda sharply, "I don't-"

The door slams open unceremoniously, cutting Gakuhou off. Three children walk in bickering loudly.

"I can't believe," Gakushuu is saying, "you two are  _ idiots _ . I can't  _ believe  _ I like  _ both _ of you in  _ any  _ fucking universe!"

"Well I," alternate-Akabane starts, visibly pissed, but then he stills and his expression shifts to one of confusion. "Wait-"

Alternate-Horibe's eyes are wide. "Did you just say-" 

Gakushuu whips around with a glare so vicious that both immediately fall silent, and just for self preservation, Ikeda sinks slightly lower into the armchair. Gakushuu scoffs and crosses his arms, gaze sweeping over the living room and finally landing on Gakuhou. 

"What are you doing," Gakushuu demands.

"I don't see how that's any of your concern," Gakuhou replies smoothly, ignoring the look of sheer panic Ikeda is sending his way. "I won't even ask about your outburst."

Gakushuu gives him a look that can be read as "you better not," and sits down hard on the couch. Alternate-Horibe and alternate-Akabane sit on the far end of it, now frantically glancing back-and-forth between themselves and Gakushuu. Gakushuu fumes silently for a bit.

Gakuhou lets his son calm down in his own time, intimately familiar with his short temper. He makes small talk with a very awkward Horibe and Akabane and fails to extract any information about the fight, just as well, these versions of the two boys were as stubborn as their older counterparts and, as it seems, not any less smitten with his son. He’s just about to suggest dinner when there’s another huge flash of light, and when it clears, Gakuhou’s staring straight at none other than himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was an exercise in writing realistic conversations, because I was re-reading my old stuff and thought, "wow, fictional characters always know what to say, no one tells a story that fluidly in real life" and so I decided to practice on Ikeda. A precious boi whom I don't know how to characterize at all, so I made him like this. 
> 
> And HAHA there's no point in dragging this fic out any longer, there's no real conflict here for them to deal with so it's just a super short mix-up, some rom-com drama, and then they're home free!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I vaguely remember telling someone in the comments that I wrote this entire fic because I wanted to write One Specific Scene that I dreamed up in my head, and said scene comes up here! It's like, two sentences long (not the whole thing but one specific part). 
> 
> Second last chapter! This surprisingly short fic concludes soon.

**2018A: Day 3**

Gakushuu doesn’t process what’s happening for a while, staring and gaping at who seems to be himself. He blinks once, twice, turns his head to the left to see two Gakuhous (what horror, he thinks distantly,) and takes three steps forward-

-collides into, and promptly trips over the coffee table, which he swore looked ten paces away instead of two-

“Aw, fuck,” he says. 

His words seem to snap everyone out of their daze, and the room dissolves into panic. Gakushuu catalogs two Gakuhous, two Itonas, and two Karmas, one Ikeda and one Irina. He makes a grab for the couch to his right, misses the couch by what seems to be a good few feet and ends up slapping the floor rather ungracefully, then gets to his feet and yells, “Shut the fuck up!”

Everyone shuts up. One version of his father, the Gakuhou that looks like the one from his universe, crosses his arms and says, “somebody better explain what the hell is going on.”

That was mean-dad? That sounded like his dad, but that also looks like his dad... Ah, okay, he’s got it. “We’re back in our original bodies,” Gakushuu says. He points at his universe’s Gakuhou, “you’re my dad. I’m the mean version, by the way.”

“Are you?” A Karma says sharply. It’s the one without the healing black eye which should be from his universe. There’s one very easy way to confirm that (as evident by said black eye) so Gakushuu punches Karma, and true to prediction this Karma dodges it and punches back, and if everything was normal Gakushuu would parry and retaliate accordingly, but what does happen is Gakushuu misses his cue because he swore the punch was coming further than it seemed, and takes a hit to the face.

His Karma scoops him up bridal-style before he hits the ground. “Figured that might have happened with how your other self was dealing with your lack of balance,” he says cheerily, “welcome back, Shuu!”

“Put me down,” Gakushuu says.

“Gakushuu!” Itona, no, Alternate-Itona and Alternate-Karma scream in unison. They pounce onto his unsuspecting alternate self and they go crashing onto the floor in a tangle of limbs.

“Stupid love,” Gakushuu sighs.

“What was that?” 

Right, Karma was still holding him. “Put me down, idiot.”

“No,” Karma says. He sits down on the couch and rearranges Gakushuu above him, and Gakushuu leans into his shoulder. “Did you miss me?”

“No,” Karma says, again. Gakushuu’s a little touched, Karma was  _ worried _ , and had somehow gotten himself involved in the whole situation. He wouldn’t be brought in for no reason, to keep this situation as uncomplicated as possible, which means Karma had crashed the party and demanded to be let in on the secret. “Did you break into my house again?”

“It’s not breaking in if I have explicit permission,” Karma points out, “you said I could enter by force if you give me radio silence for three days in case your dad chopped you up into tiny pieces and locked you into a chest in the basement.”

That grabs the attention of the room, and Ikeda wails, “what?!”

“That was a joke,” Gakushuu sighs. 

“So we’re back?” His father is saying to his doppelganger, not before giving Gakushuu a  _ look  _ that meant a future, uncomfortable attempt at a conversation. “I require an explanation.”

“I managed to configure the time-travel device here,” says alternate-Gakuhou, pulling out the device, “it took a while and I had… help, but I’ve managed to figure out how to calibrate it to send us back to our universe at this point in time. The body switching is unintentional but it means one less problem for us to solve.”

“Why are they here?” Gakuhou demands, nodding to their versions of Itona and Irina who are silently watching the... reunion? with apprehension. They snap to attention at being addressed.

“They were within range,” alternate-Gakuhou says.

But, speaking of, “Itona, Irina,” Gakushuu calls them over. He wriggles from Karma’s grasp and lands into Irina’s open arms, and she squeals and coos and peppers his face with little kisses.

“Get off me,” Gakushuu grimaces. He was okay with the hug, slightly less okay with the huge breasts pressing up to his face but he supposed that was a side-effect of the hug, and not okay at all with the lipstick marks on his face. She lets him go, and Gaksuhuu looks to smile over at Itona, who’s… not looking at him. Looking past him, actually.

Glaring, at Karma, who’s glaring back.

“Aw, come on,” Gakushuu groans, “not here too.”

“Anyone told you that you’re a natural talent in all universes?” Irina says in amusement, nodding over to where alternate-Gakushuu is being smothered by alternate-Itona and alternate-Karma. 

Gakushuu rolls his eyes. He snaps his fingers in between Itona and Karma. “Knock it off, you two. Don’t be like the children.”

Alternate-Gakushuu manages to extricate himself from the grasps of his two limpets. “You!” He points an accusing finger. “I fell down the stairs three times because of you! And we’re the same goddamn age!”

“You’re still a whiny baby to me,” Gakushuu scoffs.

Alternate-Gakushuu opens his mouth to retort, but he’s interrupted by a “are you fucking serious?!” and his mouth clicks shut. Everyone turns in sync to see Gakuhou and his alternate counterpart in a death stare, glaring at each other from across the coffee table.

Nobody says a word. Gakushuu’s not sure who yelled. Very slowly, he sits back down next to Karma. 

Itona sits next to him, and then Irina. On the loveseat adjacent, the three children, teenagers, Gakushuu mentally corrects himself, squeeze in. Ikeda wedges himself in the corner between the two chairs.

“What?!” Alternate-Gakuhou says, crossing his arms.

“You let the kids go on the stupid laboratory infiltration plan,” Gakuhou says, mirroring his counterpart’s stance. “Are you a blithering idiot? It’s a deathtrap, an  _ obvious  _ suicide mission. Even without the assassins-”

“It was a calculated risk,” Alternate-Gakuhou says smoothly, "Surely you understand about a little bit of danger with the arrangements of Koro-sensei in your universe and all-"

"You went along with the brats' stupid plan? Dare you say you were coerced by my son, but you have no regard for the personal safety of your own, condoning such a feat with what proof? The word of an eloquent, mouthy little shit? And they say I'm the psycho one between the both of us?” Gakuhou seethes. 

Alternate-Gakuhou bristles. “There’s a basis for that, surely,” he snarls, “I’ve never abhorred living my own life until I swapped places with you-”

Their audience watches with bated breaths as the argument gets increasingly heated, the two men fighting over the logic of each other’s parenting and education ideologies. 

“Uhm,” Ikeda says meekly, and he turns to stare at Gakushuu with pleading eyes.

“Don’t you dare take this away from me,” Gakushuu says calmly, resting his hand on his cheek as he watches the stalemate between both versions of his father. “I deserve this.”

“Deserve  _ what _ ?!” His alternate counterpart hisses, wincing as his name gets thrown around in the mess of an argument. Next to him, staring at the trainwreck with wide eyes, alternate-Itona and alternate-Karma stay numbly silent.

“My payment for over a decade of trauma and shitty parenting,” Gakushuu says. He really wants some popcorn.

“Did you hear that,” Alternate-Gakuhou hisses, “even your own son things you’re a piece of-”

“Don’t degrade to swearing, now,” Gakuhou interjects, like he hadn’t been close to calling himself a “motherfucker” not three seconds ago.

Quick, sharp words soon dissolve into what Gakuhou might once-upon-a-time regarded as uncouth yelling, and their audience cowers. The decorative vase on the tabletop looks dangerously close to shattering just with the stress in the room; it’s only when its looks threateningly close to shattering over someone’s head, and Itona’s nails are digging into his forearm with Karma elbowing him hard in the ribs, Gakushuu finally decides to intervene. 

“Hey now,” Gakushuu coos patronizingly, getting to his feet, and the furious gazes of both Gakuhous soften as they look over him for a brief moment, before turning back to each other.

“You’re acting like the children,” Gakushuu says, and none of the alternate-teens correct him. He tests his steps before walking this time, not quite trusting his depth perception again, so it’s a tense five seconds as he makes his way to stand in the middle of the two. Gakushuu stands shorter than his parent (parents?) but he would think he’s just as imposing, and he curls a fist over alternate-Gakuhou’s shoulder and tightly grips his father’s. 

“This has been entertaining,” he drawls, “but both of you need to knock it, the  _ fuck _ , off.”

Alternate-Gakuhou opens his mouth.

“Fuck you,” Gakushuu interrupts, “he’s right, you know. You didn’t even ask for a DNA test, and I  _ offered _ . All I had to do was yell at you for 15 minutes.” He turns to his father. “Don’t get too smug, you suck too, you worthless excuse for a parent. I should have killed myself years ago.”

There’s a sharp intake of breath from both of them, then Gakuhou says, “don’t talk like that.”

“It’s true,” Gakushuu shrugs unrepentantly, “I’m not an idiot, though. And as much as I’ve been anticipating this confrontation since I realized the possibilities of time travel, both of you are scaring the kids, we’re going to move on from this.”

Both Gakuhous continue to stare at each other.

“Move. On,” Gakushuu says forcefully, “you’re not going to resolve this. Not now, not ever, and you’ll have imaginary arguments in the shower just like the rest of us until you die. Capiche?”

Very, very slowly, alternate-Gakuhou deflates. Gakuhou sighs. “You almost died, and you want me to let it go?”

“Yes,” Gakushuu says. He jabs a thumb in alternate-Gakushuu’s direction. “See that? That’s a version of me with happy, healthy familial relationship that we’ll never have, but that version of you that gave me that sent me into the jaws of death. Give or take,” he pats his father’s shoulder twice, “move on.”

“You know,” alternate-Gakuhou says then, “your father is right, I know that Reaper was an unforeseen obstacle, but it was due to my error of judgement that your life was in danger, and I’m sorry.”

“Now,” Gakushuu says, “no one expected Reaper, and you were hardly to blame for the- no, you know what? I’ll forgive you for almost indirectly killing me if you say ‘I’m sorry’ into my phone recorder, I need to set it as my ringtone-”

Gakuhou punches him in the stomach. “Insufferable brat,” he says.

“This is domestic abuse,” Gakushuu wheezes, “Karma, call child protection services.”

“So we’re good?” Irina pipes up, “no more weird fighting? Good, because I had to pee, but there was too much tension in here that I was kind of scared to go.”

“You’re a literal assassin,” Itona says. Irina flips him the bird and jumps off the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi hi!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it!

**2018A: Day 3**

“Were you worried this time round?” Itona asks.

“Hm?” Gakushuu stirs some sugar into his tea, leaning against the kitchen counter. Itona kind of wants to jump him like how alternate-Itona managed with his Gakushuu but Itona still wants to live.

“Not really,” Gakushuu says, flashing him a grin, “I knew you’d come and save me.”

Is he blushing? No. No he’s not. Itona aims for nonchalant. “Confident, were you? Maybe Irina and I were enjoying life without you.”

“Our paths barely cross anyways, if not for this whole damn device,” Gakushuu says. He sets the cup on the counter and steps forward. “You’ll enjoy life without me, regardless. Unless,” he takes another step forward, “you missed me?”

Oh, no, yeah, he’s blushing. “Maybe,” Itona mutters.

Gakushuu laughs softly. “Thank you. I hope Karma wasn’t too horrible to deal with?”

“He’s been,” Itona winces, “same old Karma, I guess.”

Gakushuu, because he enjoys making Itona suffer, takes yet  _ another _ step forward and touches Itona’s arm. Itona doesn’t short circuit or anything like that. 

“All limbs intact,” Gakushuu says, “you two must be getting along well.”

On the contrary. “Nothing like a mutual friend in danger to bring old classmates together, right?”

“Mutual friend,” Gakushuu snorts. He takes up his cup of tea and heads to the living room. “Making sure the two idiots aren’t killing each other.” Itona follows. The Gakuhous are still staring at each other spitefully. He watches as Gakushuu sits in between them and kick his feet up on his father’s lap, and beckon his alternate-self over.

“So,” says alternate-Itona, sliding next to him, “how’s the relationship going?”

“Am I super obvious?” Itona sighs

“Kind of,” alternate him says, “it’s okay.”

“It’s not going. How’s yours?”

“Same,” alternate-Itona sighs, “Gakushuu knows. He’s just,” he makes an aborted hand gesture, “I mean, to be fair, neither of us have  _ asked  _ the question yet so he doesn’t have anything to answer to.”

There’s an awkward pause between them. Itona clears his throat. Alternate-Itona snaps his head up to stare at alternate-Karma, who’s giving him a strange expression with his counterpart next to him. The two boys wander off, and eventually Itona finds himself next to his universe's Karma.

“How are you finding the alternate universe?” Itona tries.

Karma eyes him skeptically, then relaxes. “Fine,” he says, “surreal.”  Then, “You know, I don’t care if we saved the world together, Gakushuu’s my friend. You better watch yourself.”

Itona blinks once, twice, then, “ _ are you giving me the shovel talk right now _ ?”

“Yeah,” Karma nods, “he likes you. I can tell.”

Itona glances over at Gakushuu, who’s now ribbing his father about something or another and smothering his alternate-self with his legs. “He likes you too.”

“Oh, I know that,” Karma says, unnecessarily smug. “I’ll guess we’ll have to see what happens, eh Itona?”

Itona frowns at him. “His feelings aren’t a  _ contest _ .”

“You really are naive, aren’t you,” Karma sighs, “I would watch you flounder for my own amusement but I’m feeling open for some healthy competition, so let me give you some advice. if you want to survive this game you have to play it like it is: a game; there are real feelings here but remember that this is _Gakushuu Asano_ you're talking about. You think he’s some clueless little girl hopping around with flowers in his basket? He’s stringing us along and enjoying every second of it. You want to be his puppy like those two losers in this universe or do you want to make him chase you as hard as you chase him?” 

Itona looks over at Gakushuu again. “I-”

“He’s a menace,” Karma says, a smile playing on his lips, ‘he’s got plenty of people falling at his feet already. Have some style, would you.”

Itona scoffs. “You say that like  _ you _  don't like him as much as I do.”

“Harsh, Itona,” Karma sighs, “I’ll give you that. You don’t have to treat Gakushuu like some glass toy. The boy lives for conflict, and he thrives on challenge, like both of us, you can push and pull hard. Speaking of, I’ll bet you 10 that he’s going to start a fight between the Gakuhous before we go.”

Itona frowns. “But he just broke one up.”

“That was because the kids were scared,” Karma says, “he’s not going to leave without seeing them beat the shit out of each other, verbally or otherwise.”

“You and Gakushuu need to stop calling them kids,” Itona says, “they’re our age.”

“Kids,” Karma snorts. 

“I’ll take that bet,” Itona says.

Itona loses. It only takes 15 minutes after that for the Gakuhous to start yelling at each other again, and everyone dives for cover. Gakushuu is watching with visible glee as his counterpart has a look of immeasurable horror on his face, and then Gakuhou punches alternate-Gakuhou on the face.

“Gakushuu!” Ikeda shrieks. 

It’s not Gakushuu but his alternate self that jumps to his feet, breaking apart the two men and yelling in some foreign language and pushing them back. Gakuhou snaps at him, Alternate-Gakuhou says, “don’t shout at  _ my _ kid,” Gakuhou says, “don’t touch  _ mine _ ,” and Gakushuu starts ugly-laughing.

“I’ll give you another 10 if you stop them,” Itona says to Karma.

“Are you insane?” Karma says back, “I’m not risking my life for 20 bucks.”

“Let’s have a _conversation_ ,” alternate-Gakushuu growls, and kicks Gakushuu in the stomach. “You too. In  _ private _ .”

The four disappear behind closed doors with no small amount of protesting and grumbling, and then it’s quiet. Then, “this is giving me so much deja-vu,” alternate-Itona says. No one speaks much in that time, and when the group emerges again, Gakushuu is  _ still _ ugly laughing, alternate-Gakushuu is quietly but assuredly pleased, and the Gakuhous are unnervingly quiet.

“That’s my boy,” Gakushuu says, clapping his alternate counterpart on the back as he puffs up in pride, and then skips away tugging his father along. Itona doesn’t ask what happened, no one does. Both versions of Gakuhou looks miserable.

“Alright guys,” Gakushuu says. He tosses the time device like a ball in his hand and grins. “Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we are... at the end! Of this stupid fic!! Thank you all for putting up with this nonsense for two fics and 32 chapters, we will be back with ur regularly scheduled "sane" content soon. HAHA jk none of my content is sane and neither am I. I'm always accepting random fic ideas and prompts because I need a reason to use my brain and if you're bored you can always hit me up on tumblr: gwendeeagain 
> 
> Frequently Asked Questions:  
> Is there a sequel? (Why? Why do you want more of this?) I'm planning one!!! With Irina taking center stage!! My best girl!! I love her. I made this into a series so if you want to be updated when I post anything you can just subscribe ;)  
> Itona or Karma? Who knows? (I don't know. Am I going to drag this out for comedic effect as long as this series exists? Probably.  
> Why are you writing this? I don't know either, dear readers.

**Author's Note:**

> Damn
> 
> Hope this has entertained you thus far?


End file.
